I'm a firm believer in sharing your story! You never know who your story may be able to help and especially now, I feel it's important to let others know they are not alone. I'll open up a bit about my experiences because I am grateful for them.
At the age of 22, I was in college and working two jobs yet I was bankrupt, car had been repossessed, facing homelessness because of an eviction and in an abusive relationship. Y'all talking about somebody who's been through some shit! But none of that compares to the hell I created for myself by living in fear which actually stopped me from living my life and lead to a cycle of depression.
We talk about self-care and self-love but one thing you don't hear too often is self-awareness.
How can you practice self-care if you are not in tune with yourself and what you need?
That was my case.
I was depressed for probably close to 5 years and had absolutely no idea.
I knew something wasn't right but didn't understand the extent of it.
For years, I walked around just simply existing. I can't even say living.
For me, it was a cycle: eating, sleeping and drinking. I knew I was unhappy but focused on numbing the pain and avoiding what was really going on.
Dwelling on problems that I could've solved but felt too helpless, hopeless and even afraid to do something about.
When that didn't make the problems go away, I got even more depressed.
It was a constant cycle and I battled it alone.
Most people would never know because I am an empath.
When I'm around others, my job is always to make others feel good so I'm either cracking jokes, being silly or saying something positive.
I hate to see people sad or mad and I try to solve their problems.
But the truth is...
- I was beyond unhappy.
- I was avoiding my own problems.
- I could never genuinely be happy for more than 5 minutes.
- I felt sluggish.
- I didn't want to do anything or be around others.
- There were times where I didn't even feel like I was living my life. I felt like an outsider just watching.
- I was ashamed.
- I was embarrassed.
- And no matter all the good things that happened to me, I would sabotage them by thinking I didn't deserve them.
And then, I had one of the best years: 2020 --- it was the best for me spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally and even professionally.
It came from me recognizing I wanted more for myself.
One of my clients gifted me with a manifestation journal.
I started with all the popular affirmations that didn't mean a thing to me.
Did it work? Lol. I realized I didn't even want most of those things:
- Brand new car? No,
- Mansion or 6-bedroom house? No.
- Hell, I didn't even want to be a millionaire!
But then I thought about it. What did I truly want? The answer was simple: to be happy.
I hadn't realized that was something that was missing in my life.
So I used the journal to dig deeper. Got some things off my chest. Literally broke down crying just getting it all out and then I finally started to feel again. It felt so freeing. I started to get excited again. I began GENUINELY smiling. And for the first time, I started to look forward to something. It gave me hope.
On my Facebook page, I post about my weight loss but it's more than that to me: it's my health --- physical, emotional, spiritual and mental.
It's about my growth:
- I was sober for 9/12 months in 2020.
- I'm still sober in 2021.
- I've stopped using food for comfort.
- I've began to work on one of my biggest struggles that had been holding a cloud over my head.
- I'm more in tune with myself.
- I'm making the best decisions for ME.
- I'm getting up each morning to meditate and then exercise.
- I am feeling better physically, mentally and emotionally.
Most importantly, I'm no longer afraid, ashamed, or even embarrassed to say NO to things that no longer serve me.
I am a Certified Master Life Coach, social media consultant, domestic violence survivor and the founder of Socially Accepted LLC.
While working with my clients, I realized most did not reach their goals because they were too afraid to step into their power, thought they did not deserve it or believed some other self-limiting belief.
I get it, I have been there too and it hurts.
As an entrepreneur, one of my many struggles was the fear of stepping up so I tip-toed around situations. I backed away when it was my time to shine because I let my insecurities and lack of self-worth get in the way. I muted myself and toned myself down when I knew my shit and knew that I was the shit.
- How I spoke.
- How I acted.
- How I responded.
In fear of being judged and running people way.
I stayed silent on things that actually mattered to me.
When my feelings were hurt, I bottled them up and carried that burden while the other person slept peacefully at night.
I spent a lot of time thinking and regretting how I didn't act and what I didn't say in certain situations.
For most of my life, I've lived someone else's life or lived for the approval of others!
I acted like how I felt people thought I should act.
But enough of that bullshit!
I'm at the point in my life where I realize life is too short to spend it regretting and being miserable because I'm afraid to be me.
No more dumbing myself down or ignoring important issues because I don't want to offend certain people.
Who am I?
- I'm smart as fuck.
- I'm funny/silly when I want to be.
- I make good ratchet music choices.
- I love to learn and teach others what I've learned.
- I truly want to see everyone succeed.
- I've made some bad decisions but I'd like to think I've learned from them.
- I've doubted myself and let fear control me.
- I can't quote you a single bible scripture.
- I'm spiritual and believe in a Higher power.
- I can be painfully honest.
- I believe everyone has a voice and you can learn from just about anyone.
- I'd rather not sit and discuss other people's lives. Only they know what's going on and it's not my place to judge in the first place.
- I don't give a damn about what celebrities do in their personal time.
- I'm focused on growth and healing.
- Personality types: INFP and Type A.
I'm not perfect but I am me.
And I'll help you get to the best you.